


noise complaints

by firebrands



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Birthday Party, Drunken Flirting, M/M, cop steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 00:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21383284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firebrands/pseuds/firebrands
Summary: for talktonytome, who prompted: "Tony throws a party for 21st and Steve is the cop who shows up bc of the loud noise complaint. Tony opens the door and thinks Steve’s a stripper. He’s sadly mistaken but Steve is smitten and he stays to make sure drunk Tony is okay and they go on a breakfast date in the morning!!"
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 187





	noise complaints

the bass is thumping so loudly that tony feels it reverberate around his chest. it’s a good feeling, to be so enveloped by music like this, and it’s _good music_, because it’s his playlist, and this is probably the best party he’s thrown _ever_.

rhodey is only a little more drunk than tony, but he’s dancing in the middle of tony’s apartment, hand in hand with pepper who is fucking hammered, flushed pink from the alcohol she’d consumed. bruce and clint are by the kitchen counter, doubled up and laughing at something natasha probably said; either way, natasha’s looking satisfied as she tops up their drinks.

“BEST BIRTHDAY EVER,” thor half-shouts in tony’s ear, arm slung around tony’s shoulders. he pulls tony into a hug. “seriously, tony,” he says, “cheers.” they pull away and clink their plastic cups together in mock-seriousness before they take long drinks.

“oh my god!” pepper screams, looking at her phone. “it’s midnight!”

there’s a second-long lag as the party digests this information, and then bruce, thoroughly sloshed, gets there first and yells: “happy birthday, tony!” the rest of the party join in chorus, raising drinks in salute and crowding around tony, thumping his back or pressing kisses to his cheeks.

“now none of us are breaking the law!” clint crows, and tips tony’s glass back, forcing tony to down the rest of the drink. the music is undercut by something ringing, and only after a few moments does tony realize it’s his doorbell. tony ambles over to the door, stopping when he sees a half-full wine bottle on his coffee table, and he takes a swig as he answers the door. 

“good evening, sir,” says a tall drink of man at the door. tony stares.

“oh,“ tony says, setting the wine bottle down on the sidetable by the door, then realizing that he’s allowed to drink now, and picking it up again. he’s distracted by how handsome the man is, and how weak in the knees he gets for anyone in uniform, and whoever came up with this idea is getting a spa date, for sure. “good evening, officer,” tony says, winking as he takes another drink from the wine bottle. he leans against the doorframe, and winks at the man dressed like a cop.

the stripper looks at tony, confused, before looking down at his small notebook. tony felt like giving him a tip just now for his attention to detail. “are you tony stark?”

“yes i am, officer,” tony says, leaning forward a little. “are you here to arrest me?”

the man opens his mouth and is about to say something, when a laugh comes out instead. tony can’t help but laugh along with him; he looks gorgeous when he laughs, and tony wants him to keep doing it.

“no one gets arrested for noise complaints,” the man says, after he’s composed himself.

“oh,” tony says, taking a step forward and wobbling a little. he’s doing his best to be flirty, and he’s pretty sure he’s making it work when he says, “i’ve never gotten any complaints for being noisy before.”

the man blushes, then holds his hands up to stop tony’s advances. “i’m sorry, there seems to be a misunderstanding here.”

tony squints at the name stitched onto the uniform. “is that so, captain rogers?” he asks, smiling up at the man as prettily as possible. it’s weird that he had to try so hard to get this guy to touch him, i mean, that’s what whoever was paying him for, right?

“who is paying me?” the man asks. tony startles, realizing he’d said some of his thoughts out loud. he was about to turn back inside his apartment to ask who paid for a stripper when rhodey appears at his side.

“who’s this?” he asks.

“the stripper you ordered for me,” tony deadpans.

in the corner of his eye, he sees the blush on the man’s cheeks deepen.

rhodey stares at him, and then slowly turns his head to stare at the man. “we didn’t,” he says, and stops abruptly to vomit into tony’s umbrella stand.

tony edges himself out of his apartment and shuts the door, both horrified and pleased. the last time rhodey had puked was at his 20th birthday, and it made tony’s heart swell, knowing that only he could get rhodey this fucked up.

tony turns to look up at the stranger, and takes a second to form his plan of attack. he takes a steadying sip of wine, then says: “so, you’re not a stripper.”

“no, i’m not,” the man laughs. 

“would you consider it?” tony grins.

“no!” the man says, startled. then his face melts into a fond smile and he adds, “sorry to disappoint.”

“it’s just,” tony says, waving his hands around. “it’s my birthday.”

“happy birthday,” he says. “please turn your music down, your neighbors are complaining.”

“they’re just jealous they’re not invited,” tony says petulantly. “but okay, officer.”

“please stop calling me officer,” he man says. “i’m steve.”

“hi, steve,” tony says, smiling up at him. “i’m tony.”

“i know,” steve says, laughing a little.

“do you want to come inside?” tony asks, because it’s polite, and also he’d like to keep talking to steve.

“no, i can’t,” steve says. “but i think you should head in soon to help your friend. and turn down your music.”

tony frowns. “but you’re cute.”

“thank you,” steve mumbles, the blush back on his cheeks.

“and it’s my birthday,” tony adds, frowning some more as he leans back on his door.

this, of course, is exactly when thor throws his door open and tony stumbles back. “so there really is a cop!” thor says, looking surprised.

“yes, unfortunately that’s all he is,” tony groans, as he rights himself up. steve laughs, looking abashed.

“so we should go,” clint says, pulling his jacket on. 

“don’t want the complaints to get worse,” bruce adds, hustling rhodey out.

“you’re the best, man,” rhodey drawls, throwing up a peace sign as bruce and thor drag him into the elevator. natasha and pepper seem to be wrapping up their attempts at drunkenly cleaning up, and they each take a turn to press a kiss and whispered happy birthday to tony’s cheek before they get into the awaiting elevator.

“thanks for ending my party,” tony mumbles, sliding onto the floor. he’s a bit put out by the sudden disappointments of the night, and also, he’s almost out of wine.

steve bends down, hoisting tony up. “let’s get you to bed,” he says. 

“only if you’re joining me,” tony flirts, as he drapes his arm over steve’s shoulders. steve’s arm tightens around his waist as he begins walking them into the apartment.

“you’re insatiable.”

“well, you’re hot.”

the last thing tony remembers is his head on his pillow, and steve smiling down at him as he set a glass of water and a bottle of advil on tony’s bedside table.

“you’re an angel,” tony remembers saying, and the next thing he knows, it’s morning.

tony groans at the way his brain thuds against his skull, and he sees a little note scrawled under the bottle of advil. _If you’re up before noon, there’s a bagel and a cup of coffee waiting for you at russ & daughters’._

tony sits up with a jolt and checks his phone: 9am. he squints at the number scrawled at the bottom of the note, unsure if everything past midnight was a dream, and types out a message. _Hi. I’m alive. Is this real? See you in 30?_

_I’ll be there_.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr saw it first [here](https://firebrands.tumblr.com/post/188941901985/ooo-for-the-college-au-prompts-1-tony-throws-a) :)
> 
> i'm also on [twitter](https://twitter.com/firebrandss)!


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